New Relationship and Coparenting

I am not sure what decision is the correct decision or the decision that is correct for me, is correct for someone else.

My husband asked me for a divorce a year ago and afterwards I met my new partner. We’ve been together for eight months and he has met my two children. I have a girl 10 and a boy age 8 and my partner has children of his own. The kids have met each other as well and get along anytime we all go out to do anything. It has taken my oldest a little while to get used to the new dynamic, but she’s finally starting to come around to the idea that mommy and daddy aren’t together anymore and mommy is happy now. She enjoys seeing my partner’s two daughters and having friends to play with when they come over.

Now my partner wants to meet with my ex and my ex has expressed he’d like to meet him as well, but they don’t agree on how it should happen. My partner wants to talk to my ex husband over the phone before they meet in person and while I understand his concern with meeting my ex in an electronic way, my ex husband does not. He refuses to speak with my new partner unless he is willing to meet face to face. Neither of them is willing to change their minds and I’m not sure what to do.

I’ve decided to tell my partner that I understand and respect he need for a zoom or phone call before meeting my ex husband in person and I’m just going to have to tell my ex husband that when he is ready to compromise and speak with my partner on the phone then we can move forward, but until then I need to respect my partners wishes and hope that one day he will understand. 

I want my partner to be comfortable with my kids and in my house, because I believe that one day we’ll be living together and taking more serious steps in the future. If my ex husband cannot come to terms with this then that will be a problem for them, but for the kids sake I hope he will lower his pride and realize what he needs to think of is our children and what is best for them.

My advice for any parents going through the same situation is to remember that just because you are divorced and have children it does not mean that you can’t have a partner or a life outside of your previous marriage and if you are happy and found someone with good morals who also cares about your children then your children will be happy as well. Follow your instincts and ask for help and outside opinions.